Purpose as a Catalyst for Willpower
Several months ago, I ran a 50-mile race in the mountains of Colorado. I had been struggling with iliotibial band syndrome (ITBS) for nearly six months and had taken cortisone shots to get through the training and hopefully, through the end of this race. Hope ran out at mile 8 of 50. This was already a tough race for a New Orleanian acclimatized to -15 feet of elevation, now running above 10,000’. And when my IT band flared up at mile 8, I still had 40 miles to run. I was nearly brought to tears at least three times. I had to hop every descent along sliding rocks and mud, using my pole (I only have one-hand so only having one pole amplified the pain) as a crutch as much as I could. My wife was at the mid-point aid station and asked me if I would be able to finish. It had never even occurred to me that quitting was an option. I had to keep going because that’s who I am. That’s how I show up in the world. I put one foot in front of the other and hopped for 40 miles because I knew I had to. I had to because if I didn’t, my emotional stability would suffer and my ability to show up positively for the people I care about, would suffer. I completed the race and qualified for the 100-mile Race Across the Sky in August 2024. All because I knew my purpose.
Your prefrontal cortex is a powerful part of your brain, and it’s a muscle that gets tired. The same way you see a marathoner crawling across the finish line (because her legs have nothing left to give), the prefrontal cortex acts in the same way. This part of the brain is responsible for 1Concentration 2Planning 3Decision-making 4Judgment…and 5Willpower. So, let’s think of the prefrontal cortex like a tank of gasoline. Every time you hit the gas pedal, weighing options to make a decision, planning, strict focus on daily tasks, and even using willpower not to eat Cindy’s cake at her office birthday party. That’s the reason why, at the end of the day, it’s harder to resist that bowl of ice cream, or those highly processed potato chips. You have fatigued the area of your brain that manages self-control. Every time you activate it, you are depleting your willpower, and your willpower is what you use to keep going, to keep pushing through the challenging events that are uncomfortable.
You’ve spent all day managing shareholders, jumping from one meeting to the next, making decisions that affect hundreds, maybe thousands of people, moving pieces that could cost millions of dollars, or worse, you have a business unit facing shutdown from a geopolitical shift, or major clients threatening to leave. You’re at mile 22 of the marathon you’ve spent six months training for…you’ve hit a wall…your stride has turned to a shuffle as everyone starts to pass you. You start to question why you’re putting yourself through this pain. You get in your head…and the whole time you’re fighting, you’re depleting your willpower, and it gets to a point where you believe you just can’t do it anymore. So, what do you do when you reach this point of exhaustion?
Purpose. It all starts with purpose. When your willpower is near depletion, when you think you have nothing left to give, when you’ve hit the wall and there’s no one there to save you, no one coming to pamper you and tell you it’ll all be okay, you have your purpose. And your purpose is what is going to keep you showing up everyday to grind, and keep going, to pick up your pace and run through the blood-soaked shoes, it will give you the drive to keep working on that project through the night. Purpose is the foundation of resilience and the catalyst for your willpower. Without purpose, you’ll quit when your prefrontal cortex is tired. You need to dig deep and figure out what that purpose is, and that is what will give you the edge, the drive, to keep going. Purpose is what replenishes that fuel when you’re depleting your willpower.
Purpose and identity are intertwined, and they have different layers. If you don’t peel back the layers, when you lose purpose, you’ll also lose your identity, and your emotional threshold drops significantly, hence, your ability to regain control is reduced.
Instead of saying, “I am a runner,” because we all know we’re just a jacked-up knee away from being injured, dig deeper, find out why you run…I run because exercise is healthy, and I enjoy the daily process of being a runner. The strict adherence to a schedule, nutrition and sleep habits carries over into everyday life and help me perform better throughout the day and be more intentional with my time...blocking time not only during the workday, but with my family and friends…I am a better father and generally enjoyable person...it drives me.
DIG DEEPER…I need physical activity and strict adherence to a schedule to show up in life for the people I care about…my family, friends, clients AND to maintain my emotional threshold, because it has to be about me, not just about others. So, I run because I enjoy physical activity and strict adherence to a schedule. I do this to maintain my emotional stability and to care for the people in my life. It’s how I show up in the world.
When everything gets stripped away, that will always remain. I already have a plan to start working on if I can no longer run by answering, “What are the things I need to do to maintain my emotional stability and care for the people in my life?” The mindset becomes, whatever it takes, I will continue to pursue physical challenges and show up in the world for the people I care about.
Don’t wait until you’re in the trenches to start soul-searching. Take time to dig deep now. Find your purpose. Who do you want to be? Why do you want to be? What drives you? Peel back the layers to the core, to the part of you that will never change, regardless of the circumstance. This is what will resiliently posture you to break through any wall that tries to stop you.
